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My mom will never forget her year of being 50. We started her out with a big surprise party - this was a miracle b/c she is almost impossible to surprise! Just a few short weeks after that, my Dad was rushed to the hospital with a heart blockage. Two weeks after that, our sweet little Gracie pulled boiling tea over on herself, burning 30% of her body. My Mom then underwent a hysterectomy in January, and I began having major pregnancy issues in February. Cullen was born March 31, and since then, life's been pretty calm - compared to the rest of the year! We decided for Mom's 51st birthday, we'd take her out to dinner a couple nights before the actual day - just the grown ups! A quiet dinner - no one crawling around under the table, needing to "go potty", or spilling food on us. Just quiet conversation (okay, our family isn't exactly quiet, but no one under the age of five with us means no screaming), and time to bless Mom with our presence. I was elected to pray before them meal, since I was in the middle of the table, and everyone could hear me better. As I prayed for the food, and also for Mom, the words came out of my mouth "and please give Mom the ..." - long pause. In my heart, I was being prompted to pray for strength for her. I remember thinking "that makes no sense. Strength for what? Everything's going okay. She's busy, but nothing crazy." So I fumbled around, and tried to just end the prayer without sounding like I'd lost all train of thought. We had a great night, a wonderful meal, and topped the evening off by stopping for ice cream. I think Mom was looking forward to saying goodbye to the difficulties of her 50 year, but God had other plans. The next morning I was awoken by our phone ringing, and also to why the Spirit had laid the need for strength on my heart the night before. I answered, and heard my Mom say something about being at the hospital with Dad, and that she needed all of us to come. My Dad had bleeding on the brain, and was being taken to the ICU. You can't ever be prepared for a call like this. We rushed down to the hospital, praying for a good amount of our very slow drive, and met everyone else in ICU. We spent a lot of time together over the next two days, alternately crying, praying, worrying, feeling helpless . Through it all, my Mom was optimistic and hopeful, only occasionally showing her worry. Dad is recovering, and will have no permanent deficits due to the subdural hematoma he suffered. In fact, they kicked him out of the ICU down to a different floor because he was giving the OT a hard time!

Usually when I think of strength, I see someone who always maintains their composure. Someone who can face anything that God asks them to walk through. No crying, no hysterics. After the last few days, I have a different view. My husband likes to occasionally joke about my - as he called it - emotional constipation. Yes, I am a stuffer. I like to have everything crammed into my little box, and sit on the lid so it doesn't accidentally pop out and draw attention to me. Shows of emotion have always seemed weak to me. At one point during this whole ordeal, my Mom broke down and talked about the reality of how she was feeling. Instead of this seeming weak, I now see the strength in it. The strength in it came from the fact that even though this situation was hard, she knew God was good, and He was in control. In our moments of weakness and transparency, He is strong for us! I've heard this over and over, but I feel like this was something He needed to really whack me over the head with through all of this. I will also never again hesitate to pray what's on my heart, even if it doesn't make total sense at the time. We are so thankful that God chose to spare Dad, and that He is continuing to heal him. I am again amazed by the smallness I feel whenever we enter a valley like this. Our human frailty is so obvious, and I'm so thankful for God's sovereign plan for each of us.

Yummy morning!

I spent this morning teaching gf Danita to make blueberry/lime jam. What fun! We put up 48 1/2 pints in about 3 hours. I can't honestly say I love canning but the results make the hard, steamy work well worth it! I love having peaches, green beans etc. to feed my family during our snowy MI winters. Looking forward to our tomatoes ripening so I can make salsa!

The faith of a child

Last night I had an interaction with Campbell that reminded me of just how important (and rewarding!) the job of parenting is! Campbell has a hard time falling asleep at night, and we often give her melatonin to help her with this. We have been trying to wean her off of it, which is resulting in multiple visits from her after she's been put to bed. Last night, after being tucked back into bed several times, I heard her coming up the stairs again. I was doing dishes in the kitchen, and our conversation went something like this:

Mommy: Campbell, why are you out of bed again?
Campbell: Mommy, do I have Jesus in my heart?
Mommy:Wellll, no Campbell, you don't.
Campbell: But Mommy, that makes me sad. Why don't I have Jesus in my heart?
Mommy: Well, Campbell, you don't have Jesus in your heart because you're not saved. (Not wanting to give her a false sense of security/salvation)
Campbell: But why aren't I saved?
Mommy: Because God hasn't saved you yet. You don't understand your own sin and depravity. (Yes, I know, big word for little people.) Why don't we pray that God would save you, and that He would make you aware of your sin.
Campbell: Okay.
Mommy: Dear God, we thank you for Campbell's desire to be saved and to have a relationship with you. Please draw her heart to you, and make her aware of her sin. Please save her so that she might one day be with you.
Campbell: Dear Jesus, I really, really, really, really, really want you to save me. Please help me to do what is right. I love you Jesus, Amen.

We then had a short discussion about how the proof of Salvation is evidence of the fruit of the spirit, and the need to obey - starting with staying in bed when she's put there! I tucked her back in, and didn't see her till morning. It's times like these that make all the difficult times worthwhile. Seeing our children awaken to the spiritual truths we're teaching them is the greatest reward I can imagine.

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, and Moe...

otherwise known as Sawyer, Campbell, Grace, and Cullen.

Showing off the spiderman tattoo!

Sawyer is 41/2. The 1/2 is very important to him right now. He is so excited to start preschool this fall. I can hardly believe he's old enough to go already! He's a happy, easy going kid that enjoys any sport involving a ball, and playing superhero with my dishtowels. Sawyer has a very tender heart, and is very protective of his sisters. He takes his job as big brother very seriously. He was quick to remind grandma C. that Gracie was "our baby. You can't keep her."

Cuddling with Oxana, our friend from Belarus

Campbell is three. She is mommy's helper. She loves to feed Cullen his bottle, and help me with bathtime. She will go far some day. She's quick to point out observations about others-such as: "You have a fat tummy" (to the man who came to the final inspection on our new house), and graphically explaining how her baby brother was going to get out of my belly to some ladies at church. I won't repeat what she said, let's just say that due to Daddy being in the medical field, she knows more terminology than she should! She will either be a politician or a talk show host, since she talks non-stop all day long!

Captain Underpants!

Gracie is almost two! She will probably burn this picture someday, but we think it's adorable! We call her "Captain Underpants" for obvious reasons! She loves to steal her siblings underwear and puts them on over her clothes. Gracie was burned last December by pulling over a cup of hot tea. She had skin grafts done on her right arm and shoulder, and recovered nicely. We do have to keep her in a pressure garment 24/7 to help keep the scars flat. (Hence the funny looking tank she's wearing!) We really enjoy her, and she is definitely the sunshine in our family!

First trip to target, four days old

Cullen is 4 months. He loves to eat, sleep, and produce dirty diapers for mommy to change! He is a sweet, happy baby, and has the world's biggest grin. His siblings love to make him giggle!

These are my blessings.

How did I get here?!

I remember sitting in the hospital after the birth of my third baby - third baby in three years, mind you - and the thought popping into my head: "God, how did I get here?" There was a sense of feeling like the years between 14 and 29 had run by in fast forward, and I suddenly woke up to find myself the proud owner of three children and a husband. How did I get to be almost 30 so fast? Where is this high-speed thrill ride taking me?

I should probably introduce myself to you. Overall, I'm your average midwestern mom. I drive a minivan, I clip coupons and shop the sales, my sister-in-law cuts my hair. I will never fit into a size 10 again (those of you who can, please enjoy it for me!), and I turned 30 last year. My hubby and I met in college, and married as soon as he graduated. We have four children. They were all born in the span of four and a half years. (That in and of itself should be enough to win me some kind of free vacation, right?!) I am a self-employed Interior Designer, and love being able to work out of my home. I love my friends. I look forward to church on Sundays. I struggle with so much! I could make a reeeaaallyyy long list of all the things I need to work on, but I'll save that for later!

Where is this high speed thrill ride taking me? I don't know. I know there will be hills - glorious mountain tops that take one's breath away. There will also be valleys, dark and lonely. If you choose to join me, I hope you find laughter, encouragement, camaraderie, and comfort. Most of all, I hope you will see the true purpose of this journey, and what we were all created for.